PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Move Over, Sylvia

So, yesterday, at the end of the day, I brought up the fact that it would be very challenging to actually put your head in an oven. Yes, I was feeling overwhelmed at the time, but not seriously contemplating the maneuver. Kristin countered that Sylvia Plath did it, as did a character in Hedwig & The Angry Inch. I say that unless you have a stove bolted to the floor, you would tip the oven over. And the whole thing would be a very uncomfortable way to go. The low bending, the sprawling, the delicate balance of keeping the stove from crashing on your head - after all, if you wanted to exit with crashing, you'd take on the fridge, or a vending machine. I mean, even a little non-fat person would make our oven tip over, it's simply a matter of physics, with the door acting like a lever! (Now, I better stop, because that's as far as my smacktalk about physics can go. I can reference Archimedes, and then, like George Costanza, my hands are up in the air and I'm outta there.)

I'm just saying. It would be incredibly awkard and uncomfortable, and once you got your head in there, hell, I'd start getting all OCD about the crap on the bottom of the stove, and I certainly wouldn't put my cheek on that, so I'd have to clean it, and then I'd be back out of the oven & living life to my fullest with my bright yellow gloves and a can of EasyOff. Hmmm. EasyOff. I wonder if that works on salespeople..... and how do I spray them through the phone....
posted by PlazaJen, 8:20 AM