PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Short-Term Boob Storage

Well, seems like we started something with that post yesterday; phsymom asked in the comments if we knew people who stored OTHER stuff in their bras, beyond the errant bread crumb or salad shrimp.

I worked for a woman in Minneapolis who kept her cash tucked in her bra. She was interesting, her name was Pat, she was brusque, and she had a bob haircut & slavic features. Pat + Bob + Brusque = Manly! But she never wore pants, always dresses & suits. Anyway, she was a shorter version of Janet Reno without the glasses, and dressed as conservatively as ol' Janet did. She had a suit-type dress in several bland colors that she just rotated, so it became a uniform of sorts. One of my co-workers enjoyed calling her Pat-iooooo furniture behind her back. Why, I'm not sure, but it was funny. My line for her was, "What's got into that PAT?" I digress. Back to Bra Storage 101: it was always disconcerting when you'd go in her office, suggest we get bagels for the team meeting, and she'd agree, reach into her dress & whip a $20 out of her bra & hand it to you. There's a reason it's lovingly referred to as cold hard cash. Warm bills throw you off your game. You'd take the money, gingerly & hesitantly, and tell yourself you'd never become her.

Then, you do. It starts randomly & innocently... Every place I've worked seems to put the vending machines in close proximity to the bathrooms. Therefore, when you take a little bathroom break & decide to be efficient with your time - you bring a little cash along with you to get a soda or a candy bar. I can't stand to set anything down in a restroom, so where do you put your dollar bill if you have no pockets? You tuck it into your bra strap and think, "I've become Pat." Of course, I'm far more stylish and would never hand warm money to co-workers, but necessity is the mother of invention, and bras can provide short-term storage options (for things beyond your boobs).... The bigger the bra, the bigger the real estate - and storage!
posted by PlazaJen, 6:53 AM