PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Monday, December 12, 2005

Cowcatcher, Crumbcatcher.....

So, one of the drawbacks of having enormous bosoms is that your cleavage turns into a crumb trap if your shirt has any neck/chest showing. (I guess one of the plus sides is that you have cleavage to begin with? I try to balance my negatives out. And end all my sentences with prepositions.) I would say this drawback is particularly cumbersome if you're prone to spills, and especially if you eat toasted sandwiches for lunch, like me. And if you're not prone to wearing turtlenecks, like me. So I try to dine on those types of things in the presence of understanding friends (not sales reps or MY BOSS), because inevitably, I am clawing down my cleavage to retract some errant flake of crust that is itching the bejesus out of me, and NO IT CAN'T WAIT.

I should knit myself a cowcatcher to go 'round my neck, so all the crumblies just fall off and escape the Cleavage Crevice (or Crevasse, if you're trying for smart aleck...) I guess it's called a "bib".... but that seems so unfashionable. And you know me: pinnacle of all that is fashionable. I can prove it, just give me a minute to get these crumbs out of my bra.....
posted by PlazaJen, 1:47 PM