Friday, November 25, 2005
Here's What Emails From Me Are Like.
My friend Beth wrote me this morning & asked about how my shopping went. I thought, hey, I could copy & paste this & not have to type it twice, and then you will also see just how much I abuse the run-on sentence laws in email form.
Please keep your hands and legs inside the email at all times. Here we go....
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Oh, god, I was so irritated at Target this morning, all these people were behaving as though THEY were the only ones out and about. Literally before I got into the store. People stopping in front of the store (while driving) and then having the gall to give ME the hairy eyeball as I drove around them! I thought one person was going to hit me. And once I was in the store, it was the same thing. I can't imagine what WalMart was like at 5 am, and honestly, unless there's something in particular on sale next year, I am going to think long & hard about going out. (I say that now. Wait until next November....)
I got my Target stuff, the only deal/sale item being the undercounter radio/cd player I wanted last year & my BIL forgot my list, so I got a quesadilla maker and squishy pillow, instead, and then I went to Linens & Things & just bought the tv trays, plus the drink buckets were $6.99, buy 2 get one free, so I got chocolate martini, eggnog something & peppermint twist. Because this year the holidays are going to be about drinking, not decorating. Then off to Michaels, where, did you notice, it was like Fort Knox with the 25% off coupons? I'm surprised I didn't have to have a cavity search just to cap off my morning. And the frames I bought aren't deep enough to hold a matted picture, which pisses me off, so they have to go back & I haven't the strength right now. Maybe later this weekend, we'll see. I skipped the drycleaners, too. Came home, ate, watched some recorded stuff & went off to bed. I love my electric blanket. LOVE IT.
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That's pretty much it, my early morning adventures. There were rude people, people leaving carts in the middle of the aisle, to go and look at something, people moving extremely slowly. This is the marathon time, people, and if you haven't got a plan and the capacity to move fast, you need to do your shopping on Tuesdays over the lunch hour. With all the other amateurs. I much prefer shopping the day after Christmas, I think. At least everything's half price, which offsets some of the bitchiness you inevitably encounter. Oh, and I forgot to put in my email that while I was checking out at Linens-N-Things? This crazy woman interrupted my checker-outer lady, asking if anyone had found a library book. In a cart. From this morning. This was at 6:30 a.m. Now, I don't know what kind of shopping regimen you follow, and if you take library books in with you to make standing in line go faster? But you are immediately cut from the Jennifer Elite Squad Shopping Berets if you bring a library book in, AND leave it behind in the cart. We have stringent rules in the Shopping Berets. For we are, the Shopper of One. The Few, the Brave, the Shoppers.
Please keep your hands and legs inside the email at all times. Here we go....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, god, I was so irritated at Target this morning, all these people were behaving as though THEY were the only ones out and about. Literally before I got into the store. People stopping in front of the store (while driving) and then having the gall to give ME the hairy eyeball as I drove around them! I thought one person was going to hit me. And once I was in the store, it was the same thing. I can't imagine what WalMart was like at 5 am, and honestly, unless there's something in particular on sale next year, I am going to think long & hard about going out. (I say that now. Wait until next November....)
I got my Target stuff, the only deal/sale item being the undercounter radio/cd player I wanted last year & my BIL forgot my list, so I got a quesadilla maker and squishy pillow, instead, and then I went to Linens & Things & just bought the tv trays, plus the drink buckets were $6.99, buy 2 get one free, so I got chocolate martini, eggnog something & peppermint twist. Because this year the holidays are going to be about drinking, not decorating. Then off to Michaels, where, did you notice, it was like Fort Knox with the 25% off coupons? I'm surprised I didn't have to have a cavity search just to cap off my morning. And the frames I bought aren't deep enough to hold a matted picture, which pisses me off, so they have to go back & I haven't the strength right now. Maybe later this weekend, we'll see. I skipped the drycleaners, too. Came home, ate, watched some recorded stuff & went off to bed. I love my electric blanket. LOVE IT.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's pretty much it, my early morning adventures. There were rude people, people leaving carts in the middle of the aisle, to go and look at something, people moving extremely slowly. This is the marathon time, people, and if you haven't got a plan and the capacity to move fast, you need to do your shopping on Tuesdays over the lunch hour. With all the other amateurs. I much prefer shopping the day after Christmas, I think. At least everything's half price, which offsets some of the bitchiness you inevitably encounter. Oh, and I forgot to put in my email that while I was checking out at Linens-N-Things? This crazy woman interrupted my checker-outer lady, asking if anyone had found a library book. In a cart. From this morning. This was at 6:30 a.m. Now, I don't know what kind of shopping regimen you follow, and if you take library books in with you to make standing in line go faster? But you are immediately cut from the Jennifer Elite Squad Shopping Berets if you bring a library book in, AND leave it behind in the cart. We have stringent rules in the Shopping Berets. For we are, the Shopper of One. The Few, the Brave, the Shoppers.
posted by PlazaJen, 12:28 PM
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