PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Thursday, March 03, 2005

I Smell Bacon........

Today in Kansas City, we will hit close to 70 degrees. This means a gorgeous, warm, Spring-IS-Coming kind of day. Of course we'll have at least one more grisly cold spell before Spring is really here, and we know that, but it doesn't stop us from reveling in the warm sunny joy.

The one thing that can stop the joy? Motorcycle cops. I expect them to be out in droves. Whenever the weather gets really, really nice, for the first time? They are everywhere. Hiding behind trees, parked off side streets, wielding their bulky radar guns like Ghostbuster blasters. It's like Agent Smith in the Matrix, they just keep coming from everywhere. Just the sight of them pisses me off. Yes, yes, I know. Speed limits are there for a reason. BLAH BLAH BLAH. There are never motorcycle cops when some nutjob is barrelling down Ward Parkway at 55 mph, weaving in and out of the lanes, which to me is Behavior Begging For A Ticket. Instead, say you are boxed in and trying to get around some old man who is waiting for God to punch his ticket and bring him Home, and you accellerate to do so, and then HO NO, there's one of those damned little scooter cops. And you negotiate for a living, so you say, "Is there any way you can work with me on this?" And Vespa Squad Member #814 says, "This is my job. I write tickets." And you ALMOST say, "Your mother must be SO PROUD" but you don't, because anyone who has the authority to arrest you cannot be screwed with directly.

Did you think this was hypothetical? Well, it happened to me, several years ago, my SECOND ticket in my LIFE. And I have yet to forgive him. I did get pulled over in Prairie Village last year (again for the speeding thing.....arrrgh) by the most gorgeous cop ever and he was in a CAR and the fact he was so HOT, I could have sucked that ticket up, but nooooo, I only got a warning, my first ever WARNING in my life. And if he'd been on a scooter? He would have been UGLY UGLY UGLY.

Midday Update!
A co-worker sent me this email, she was out this morning & lives in my area:

Jennifer - I just got back in and they are EVERYWHERE! On Wornall they are sitting just South of Loose Park as well as right after the school around 63rd Street. Then, further down, just across the street from the school at 85th.

Y'all been warned. They are EVERYWHERE. And they're not pretty.

(Thinking to self.... Now, George Michael in a cop uniform on a motorcycle? THAT could convert me. Maybe.)
posted by PlazaJen, 9:36 AM