PlazaJen: Passion Knit

OK, I should say that for the most part, I've had good luck with Secret Santa. But Secret Cupid? Man, the first year they did that at work, my "big present" ended up being a 3" resin bear holding a honey pot and faux resin honey dripped all over him.

I ask you. What about me makes anyone think such a gift might be appropriate? Yes, I have a lot of tchatchkes. But they are COOL. Like the rubber duckies, or the alien creature from "Toy Story" with three eyes, or Curious George, with handpuppets. Or miniature fashion purses. Or the MooDoo VooDoo doll. Nowhere, anywhere, are drecky crappy dollar store figurines. Or anything out of resin. I digress. But its illustrative usefulness is not lost, I'm sure.

So despite that big searing scar on my secret gift-giving psyche, I still signed up to do a secret pal exchange on one of my knitting lists. Because (lean back in your chair, my ego might hit you through the computer), I am an awesome secret pal. I excel at giving gifts and picking out things for people, and if I could be a highly-paid professional shopper, that's what I'd do. Again, I digress. After the month of January went by, I wrote our SP organizer, because I had yet to get a gift. She followed up with the person who had my name. Ooops! They have decided they just can't participate. Well, that chaps my hide, thanks for not volunteering this information until we're a month IN to the exchange and then only after you've been contacted with a query as to your non-participation. So now a new person has my name, for February. Hey, look at the calendar! It's March 1! And I haven't gotten anything, AGAIN!

Now, I will interrupt my ego/pity party to note two things. My dear friend Kristin mentioned my situation to a very awesome person who has her own on-line yarn shop, and that individual gave me some store credit, JUST TO PAY IT FORWARD and because she, too, had been burned by the whole Secret Pal thing. The only reason I'm not trumpeting her name/info is because I don't want her to get more sob stories or anyone looking for a handout (not that YOU would ever do such a thing, but I'm just sayin', it's the internet and there are a few crazies out there.) And my friend in St. Louis gave me two skeins of ribbon yarn from her stash as a secret pal present because she, too, is getting the short end of the stick in this exchange. I don't normally do very well with people feeling sorry for me, but I really appreciated it, because I was feeling really rejected by the whole process.

I resume this story with some observations, because I'm all about the introspection and understanding why we react to things the way we do. And I will do so with a confession. This whole thing made me cry! My feelings got really, really hurt because I took it very personally, that someone who has access to my blog & the opportunity to get to know me through it, decided to not fufill their obligation to the gift exchange, and if there's an opportunity for me to take something personally, I usually snatch it. (Dur. Something I need to work on, obviously.) But it also hits that whole "this isn't fair" button, because I've spent about $20/month so far on gifts & shipping, and I'm not playing Secret Charity Pal, for someone who has lost everything or is dying here. I'm playing Secret PAL, where the concept of "what comes around, goes around" is in play, and somebody out there is gettin' and not givin'. And that fries my crackers.

The Karma Bus is comin'. And it's runnin' on fried cracker fuel.