Thursday, September 09, 2004
Burf!
Oh my Lordy. Yesterday I said, "I'm leaving work at 5!" So, then I left at 6:30. Skipped the grocery store, went straight home & took care of the dogs & started processing tomatoes. That took some time! So finally, around 8:15, I decided I had to have dinner, and I'd drive down to China King & do their drive-up window. Put Polly in the back seat, because if left in the house on her own, I'd be sure to come home to pee, poop, and her sitting on the dining room table, eating green tomatoes.
So we pull up at China King. I'm trying to decide what to get. What to get? I love so many things. Hmmmm. I pull forward past the giant menu to the open window. A tall skinny Asian man heads over to take my order.
"Hi, may I "
BURF! BURF! BURF!
We both laugh.
BURF! BURF!BURF!BURF!BURF!BURF!BURF!
I feel compelled to explain that I couldn't leave her behind in the house, and then I interrupt myself when I see his uncomprehending stare.
I'll have sesame
BURF! BURF!
chicken
BURF! BURF! BURF!
and a quart of
BURF ! BURFBURFBURFBURFBURF!
hot & sour soup
"a
BURF!
quart?"
BURF!
Yes.
I never order sesame chicken. When we go to chinese buffets, I get three pieces. Now I've gone and ordered a whole entree of it? My only explanation was that my little Burfinator threw me off and I ordered as fast as I could, with the first item that flew into my head.
So we waited, about five minutes. Every 15 seconds for the first two minutes, softer "Burf!"s came out of Polly. She wasn't going to let that crazy Asian man think he'd gotten out of her sights by just going away from the window.
We imagine every "BURF" session begins with a "Hey, MISTER", followed by whatever's appropriate for the situation. I laughed to myself in the car, imagining Polly's true message, decoded.
HEY, Mister! I know about you people! My Lady told me you EAT my kind, that I'm an APPETIZER in your country! I don't like that ONE BIT! You stay away from me & my Lady! You hear? Hey, Mister, I'm talking to YOU! This is MY Honda car and MY LADY and I am NOT to be EATEN!
So we pull up at China King. I'm trying to decide what to get. What to get? I love so many things. Hmmmm. I pull forward past the giant menu to the open window. A tall skinny Asian man heads over to take my order.
"Hi, may I "
BURF! BURF! BURF!
We both laugh.
BURF! BURF!BURF!BURF!BURF!BURF!BURF!
I feel compelled to explain that I couldn't leave her behind in the house, and then I interrupt myself when I see his uncomprehending stare.
I'll have sesame
BURF! BURF!
chicken
BURF! BURF! BURF!
and a quart of
BURF ! BURFBURFBURFBURFBURF!
hot & sour soup
"a
BURF!
quart?"
BURF!
Yes.
I never order sesame chicken. When we go to chinese buffets, I get three pieces. Now I've gone and ordered a whole entree of it? My only explanation was that my little Burfinator threw me off and I ordered as fast as I could, with the first item that flew into my head.
So we waited, about five minutes. Every 15 seconds for the first two minutes, softer "Burf!"s came out of Polly. She wasn't going to let that crazy Asian man think he'd gotten out of her sights by just going away from the window.
We imagine every "BURF" session begins with a "Hey, MISTER", followed by whatever's appropriate for the situation. I laughed to myself in the car, imagining Polly's true message, decoded.
HEY, Mister! I know about you people! My Lady told me you EAT my kind, that I'm an APPETIZER in your country! I don't like that ONE BIT! You stay away from me & my Lady! You hear? Hey, Mister, I'm talking to YOU! This is MY Honda car and MY LADY and I am NOT to be EATEN!
posted by PlazaJen, 9:22 AM
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