PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Monday, May 12, 2008

Done! Done!

I'm done with several things. First off, I finished the Int'l Scarf Exchange 6 scarf for my secret pal. All that remains are some treats, a note saying hello & introducing myself, and a trip to the post office. Might I recommend the Plaza branch? They are SO NICE, and you don't get hassled. (I don't have great luck with our postal service branches.)

I'm also done with pouring good energy after bad. If I wrote it all out in great detail, then it would stir things up, but suffice it to say, I am not in high school anymore. I cannot, simply will not, continue to find myself caught in the trappings of that behavior. If someone doesn't want to be my friend? Fine. Knock yourself the fuck out, and don't look back. If my emails are ignored, or my feelings, or all the things I've done in the past are overlooked (or overanalyzed), well, then, that's the way it's going to be. I can't keep waiting. I'm almost 40.

These demarcations in life, they give you a sense of what is and isn't acceptable. I remember after my friend Sheila turned 30, she said it gave her the grounds to not take crap from her dad anymore - "you can't say that to me, I'm a 30-year old woman!" Well, 40 is to 30 the way a machete is to a penknife. Does it bother me, being rebuffed, ignored, or otherwise thought negatively of? Yeah. But when my husband starting singing "hiiiiigh school" in the car the other day when I was ranting about it, something inside me snapped. And I knew it had to change! So I'm going to make a concerted effort to stop looking for notes in my locker.

Well, after all that ranting, I'm off to make a cootie catcher. Peace out, yo.
posted by PlazaJen, 3:35 PM