PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Sunday, April 17, 2005

If I Weren't Me, I Might Have To Shoot Me.

True confessions time - eesh. I can't believe it, but I'm sitting here watching MTV Hits, channel 256 - the channel actually PLAYS MUSIC, guess you have to get the digital cable to get back to your roots. Anyway. I'm ashamed to say that the new Mariah Carey song, "It's Like That Y'all" is actually catchy. Ugh. Let's be honest. Part of the hook for me is she's got the ever-sultry Eric Roberts in the video, so if I can just time looking at the tv when he's on-screen, and she's NOT, then I'd be happy. And I'm actually ok with the song up until - thankfully, it's late in the song - she starts doing that I'm-Warbling-Like-A-Pie-Whistle crap. And then there's 30-seconds where one of the featured artists just BUSTS out and it cracks me up. This is on the heels of downloading JLo's "Get Right" as a ringtone for my phone. I SAID it was TRUE CONFESSIONS, it's not nice to judge, and I was raised on folk music. Sometimes I just have to have some cotton candy in the form of Top 40 radio.

So I was thinking, geeze, maybe I'm like the next Dick Clark, you know, someone who won't let go of the poppy top 40 crap, and that's just the biggest buzzkill, every time I think of Dick Clark, because I met him once, and he was NOT NICE. Apparently, he thinks he's more important than me. Whatever! I was more interested in my coffee, that his assistant was snatching from me, for fear I would trip and throw a cup of hot steaming java in the face of America's Teenager, which probably would have melted his very tight face right off the titanium bone structure. And the whole time Dick Clark kept impatiently saying, "Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. What do you want me to write on this Jennifer?" And all I wanted to say was, "WHATEVER DICK CLARK, TELL YOUR FAWNING MANSERVANT HERE TO GIVE ME BACK MY COFFEE." But I think I just said, "To Jennifer." And then later, in a fit of flashback pique, I threw it away - so there goes my opportunity to pay off the house someday with that relic. I apparently save all kinds of crap, except Dick Clark's autograph, and Richard Simmon's, too, dammit, I lost that one. But I was in junior high and by the time Duran Duran rolled around, I was too busy planning my wedding to half the band, with top choice going to Simon LeBon, to care about meeting a permed-out oiled-up gay diet & exercise guru. Oh, I had an assistant once who INSISTED Richard was not gay. Since I'm confessing, let's throw in how much fun I had at HER expense over that one. A LOT.

Hey, I just found some redemption. Lindsay Lohan's on now, singing about Rumors and I am NOT IMPRESSED. Dick Clark can sleep safely, one more night....
posted by PlazaJen, 7:00 AM