PlazaJen: Passion Knit

No, our neighbors are not the teasing sort.

I am giddy right now, with antici-pation and delight over a small side project I've been working on, but in the interest of NOT having ebullient vomit all over my face, I'm going to wait until I'm further along. In the meantime, allow me a few random "YIPPEE!"s and "SQUEEEE!"s and "HOTDAMN!"s.

Now, in my last post, I talked about the weekend. Not everything from the weekend, certainly, but I forgot to talk about SCIENCE. We were awakened in the wee hours one morning by a thunderstorm rolling through. To be technically accurate, James was already awake; I flailed myself awake out of fear as a huge thunderclap echoed above the house. He patted me on the shoulder to reassure me, since I was in a panic. After I stammered some "Ohmahgod, ohmah, ohsolouds" out, he said, "Do you know what these storms make me think of?" And in my bleary brain, I couldn't think of anything, so I grunted some sort of "no", and he (rather excitedly) said, "NITROGEN CYCLE!"

I burst out laughing. And said something to the effect of, had you asked me to list FIFTY things, I would never have arrived at that. So there you have it. Lightning returns Nitrogen to the earth, and it's a good thing, and it's why everything is so green after a mongo thunderstorm.

Now let's move on to the neighbors, and how science meets them. Two Fridays ago, our neighbor left their dog out in the yard, all night long. (Can you hear Lionel Richie singing? I can. All niiiight, all niiiiight.) And what did their dog do? He barked. All night long (all niiiiight, all niiiiight.) We both hardly slept, and it was dreadful. Needless to say, no dancin' on the ceilin'. So JWo got a Super Bark Free on eBay, and admittedly, I was skeptical, because "Ultrasonic" could very well mean "Ha Ha You Stupid, You Buy Anything, Including This Plastic Box Shaped Like Horn". (Oh, in searching for the one we got, I found this awesome photo, NOT of the one we got, but I love it. This model turns ferocious, wicious dobermans into happy little pets that won't bite your face off!)

Anyway, it arrived this weekend, and it has two options - you can select "ultrasonic" or "beep". Judging from the reaction of our dogs, the beep definitely was effective - they all hunched down and looked very worried. But how do you know for sure if the ultrasonic setting is working? Well, it was as though Science was on our side. James got it set up, pointing right at the area between our houses where this dog likes to sit and bark? And as he started to walk away, their dog came running up to the fence, and got out one huge bark, and then hunched down and was silent. SWEETNESS! And no more ruined nights of sleep. God bless the Super Bark Stop and the Ultrasonic Waves.

Now, there's one other neighbor story - the wack lady across the street, remember her? Crazy cat lady, got the hose-turned-on-her lady, came over in the middle of the night for James to dial 911? (She CRAZY.) Anyway, she now seems to have two men living with her. And their form of entertainment is to open up the trunk of the sedan, and sit in white plastic lawn chairs while staring at the car. Not really sure what that's all about? But I really don't want to pause and invite any conversation. I can't tell if ultrasonic sound waves would work on them, but I doubt it, since they all seem to be under the influence of something, all the time. Guess that leaves us with the hose. Or me emitting a really high-pitched beep if they approach me.

It might go something like, "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

Labels: I'm Crazy