PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Today is the day the new owners take possession of my childhood home/farm. I've kept an eye on this elephant in the room all week, knowing that there is simply nothing to be done about it, it just has to live there and trumpet every so often & take a gigantic crap on the rug.

So this morning, I placed an enormous order with Betty Jane Candies, my childhood purveyor of chocolates and treats, and I had to call to place the order because the one thing I really wanted - chocolate-covered orange peel - isn't in their online catalog. And I was fine, until I said those words - chocolate-covered-orange-peel - and now I'm as messy as the weather outside. I ordered them for my dad when he had his hip replacement, two years ago, and it was four short months later that his cancer was discovered. Two short months after that, he was dead, everything had changed, and I've watched as the remnants and possessions of my life slid away from me. Sometimes the pain is too great, and I don't cope well. It has been a bitter life lesson, all of this, and while some of my scorched earth has re-grown and returned to normalcy, I still have these scars, even holes, that are still bare and raw and ugly.

Chocolate-covered orange peels. They're really kind of a metaphor, you know? Bitter candied orange peel, rendered edible through a lengthy process, and bathed in chocolate to complete the transformation.

I don't think I'm quite processed yet.

Labels: the next year