PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Ahhhh, The Sopranos.

We had some friends over for dinner & the finale tonight..... it was a bittersweet day, the one year anniversary of dad's death.....the end of the show he loved so much..... waking up to hear Coldplay's "Fix You", crying in my husband's arms.... the skies pouring rain and then the sun treating us to a fabulous afternoon at the stadium, with my dear, dear knitty friends, in our matching shirts - and the Royals stomped 'em, 17-5. (Seventeen! Who is this team?)

So I came home & made the fuckin' ziti.



Because the first episode had the great line ("What? No fuckin' ziti?") And the last episode ended with Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" - yes, my friends, I torture my co-workers by singing those greatest hits, so it just felt right - and the anxiety of the ending - so perfect, so David Chase, so not Hollywood, just another night in the Soprano family, the usual demons lurking in the shadows - a hit man? a rat? an explosion? a court date? All of us have our demons, and they lurk every day. Nobody gets it all wrapped up by the 10 o'clock news. So I loved it. Love, love, loved it. But I must say, when the music stopped (oh David, you love your music and its perfection in your stories) and the screen went blank, we all thought something HAD happened. To the TV. To the cable. Momma Linda thought James was playing a trick with the remote. But no. It just went to black. And silence. And at 6:30 tonight I realized I hadn't stopped at 6:00, to the minute, to observe my father's death. There was no Singular Moment today. No neatly-wrapped ending. Just listening to my friends buzzing, opening wine, bringing dishes to the table. A few hot tears, but a smile, too. It all goes on. Until it doesn't. Those who are left behind are left wanting more, more. But it is done.

A very good day, and better than I expected, at many turns.

Labels: cooking, grief, life