PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Bats in the Belfry

I figure it's time to start sharing the Bat stories. Oh yes! I have bat stories. Do you have bat stories? Do you like soft rock the way WE like soft rock? (sorry, some bad 90's ad for a cd compilation crept in there.)

Let's start with Bat #1. This one made it out alive, and I'm still convinced, to this day, he flew off and told the entire Bat Colony about me, and that's why my particular plague of bats continued. I was living in the 1st floor apartment off the Plaza, and had been burgled a month or so earlier. So my paranoia was still on "High". My bedroom window faced the driveway that went to the basement garage, so it was elevated almost to a second-story level, but that didn't always leave me feeling safer. One night I woke up and looked at the window sill by my bed. My window was open a couple inches.

There were black-gloved fingers fluttering back and forth along the sill! HOLY SHIT! In the time it took me to get air back into my lungs, it became clear, even without my glasses, that it wasn't actually a piano-practicing burglar, but the wings of a bat fluttering about. And now? Now it was climbing up the INSIDE of the screen, which meant it would be able to get INSIDE my bedroom through the gap in the window at the top. Apparently the screen had a gap in it. Zoiks, Batman! I'm still not exactly clear on what happened, or how this happened, but as the bat climbed higher, I knew I had to do something. It was almost at the top of the gap. So I slammed the window down. EEEK. I caught a little bat toe in between the two window frames. Did you know bats can scream? They can. EEK EEK EEK! I collapsed and went back to sleep. And the next morning? There was no dead bat, anywhere to be found. I felt a little relief, because I'm basically pro-bat, and I didn't want to kill the thing - I just didn't want it in my bedroom.

Just a little smidge of blood on the window and I'm sure if I could read Batglish, it scrawled out, "We'll be back for you later, bitch." But I don't know Batglish, and so I thought, "Whew! That's the end of that!"

So naive.
posted by PlazaJen, 7:10 AM