PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

You Know You're In For A Good Time When.....

.... the ENT doctor says, "I'm going to numb your right nasal passage and it's going to taste like horse manure..."

Uh, yeah. At first, I just felt the Spray! Spray! Spray! and thought, well, hell, I don't taste anythi- eeeeeeyyyyyeech! Dude did NOT LIE. The most hideous taste, ever. But it did numb everything up - the roof of my mouth is still a little numb. I started my day by sitting in a waiting room for an hour, and eventually had a black rubber hose with a bright light & camera at the end of it snaked up through my nose and down my throat. How did your day begin?

Fortunately (or unfortunately, for those of us who enjoy a Magic Pill solution to all our problems), I have what is termed "post-viral irritation". Dude, I have had post-just-about-everything-in-life irritation for MONTHS now. I am always skeptical when there are pre-printed sheets that they pull out and hand you with instructions to follow, including forgoing all caffeine. Friends, I cannot begin to describe the irritation that would ensue if I followed that direction. I realize I should gently wean myself down off the addiction, but not cold turkey right before a new business pitch. HI! (bares teeth) I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU! (:growls, gnashes teeth, smacks at imaginary bugs on arm:) Yeah, not gonna happen. Interestingly enough, I was running a slight fever, so I have independently concluded that I just need to kick all the bugs out of my system and get healthy. (Who needs med school?! My liberal arts degree devoid of sciences is A-OK.) The best news he gave me was that I did NOT have a giant ball of mucus sitting in the back of my throat, so it's just an irritated sensation, not something I need to try to force out. I had sort of hoped he could vacuum everything out - there was this old-timey machine in the room with me that had all sorts of dials and knobs and I got a picture or two of it, but then was nearly busted when I stood up to get a picture of the slice-o-head that showed a cross-section of your sinuses.

The naso-snozzo-phonography (it had a super long name under one of the switches):
What Does It DO?

The wire-thingy suspending instruments. I first thought they were hooked and sharp, like dental implements, and was very afeard.


Alas, no slice-o-nasal pics for you. Just to mix it up, here's a cross-section drawing of an elephant's head.

posted by PlazaJen, 11:29 AM