PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Which Way Is This Spiral Going?

OK, I just returned from the ladies room, and I believe I went into the wrong facility. For whatever reason, despite the knitted scarf, earrings, long skirt and obvious bosoms, today, I look like a man in drag. I just applied some lipstick, which I'm sure is cementing the Drag Queen Within look for the rest of the afternoon. I need to go back to bed so I can wake up a woman, dammit!

Special Orders DO Upset Us.
I think my senior years are going to be spent as a shut-in. Mostly as a defense mechanism to avoid being thrown in JAIL. I went through the drive-thru at Sonic at lunch, and ordered a double burger. No fries, or tots, none of that stuff, I just wanted one big ol' hamburger for lunch. And I had a coupon. I might as well have garrotted myself with some piano wire and saved everyone the trouble. See, the coupon was for a FREE BURGER, because we drove in a few weeks ago and they were closed, and they handed out free burger coupons as a "woops! We sorry!" sort of gesture. And it clearly states that it's for one free single burger, anything else is extra. You'd think, what with this being a four-color process coupon and all, not someone's ghetto publishing extravaganza, that it'd be pretty easy to deduct the cost of a single burger. Here's some math to indicate how it was going:
That'll be eleven........ (my eyebrows are hitting my hairline, waiting for the other shoe to drop)
That'll be seven (something). I got a Sweetheart Shake, too. Which, by the way, is pretty darn tasty, and yet my life would be so much better if they came in a SMALL. I threw half of it away.
I told him about my coupon, and I could see the entire axis of the store's foundation start to spin. He tried to add another burger to my order. No. More silence. Finally, I drove up to the window. A manager got involved. I finally said, fine, just give me the regular burger. OK, $2.50. Manager reappears. He took my coupon and tore it up. (?) I just wanted to LEAVE and didn't enquire about his Sinead O'Connor act. Then he came back and said they'd make it work. $4.49. OK. Finally, the Burger of Discontent is done. Oh, it'll be a few minutes on that shake. It had been 10 minutes at this point, I didn't even ask what sort of paralysis I had caused, I just took my meal and left. And concluded that in the interest of gravitational rotation and staying out of the pokey, I should stop trying to do anything different from the Great Menu of Life. Yeah, right.

So, I am just hoping that this day picks up. Or that DAMN I start to feel like a woman..... ba ba da da daaadeeeyaaaaah
posted by PlazaJen, 1:30 PM