PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Blinded Me With Science

Yesterday at lunch, Kristin & I were talking about college courses, and I revealed how I never did well at anything science-like. I was a studio ART MAJOR. Despite this fact, my advisor, who later went through a sex-change operation, and never stopped calling me "Jenny", continued to insist I take a science type of class, because, like, PAINT was based on chemistry and so it was a stretch and ok, fine, I fucking enrolled in CHEMISTRY.

The first day was a lab. That blew. I had plans for happy hour and this lab thing was cutting in to them. Sorry dad, your money for school was WELL SPENT if you include socialization and alcohol resistance training. Anyway, I broke my crucible. That was a sign. The next sign was the first full class day, when we were given a QUIZ. I failed. Lovely. I withdrew, and enrolled in Rocks for Jocks. Despite not being a jock, it was supposed to be extremely basic astronomy for non-science people. Withdrew Passing.

Thank god the Psychology department was a science. I enjoyed some of my Psych classes, and even did some independent study projects. But the worst, absolute WORST, was Psychology of the Brain. This turned out to be a very involved anatomy class that was chock full o' science. And there were only four tests. No papers, no labs, straight up tests. I was performing DISMALLY in this class.

But there was one thing that could save me: The Coloring Book of the Brain. Don't be glib and think this was a little workbook. This was a mammoth book, with diagrams you'd never imagine needed coloring. This is 320 pages of hardcore stuff, presumably useful to future neurologists and NON ART MAJORS.

I spent several days parked in front of the tv, coloring furiously while watching all of the CBS soaps, while drinking Diet Mountain Dew & eating brie with wheat thins. (This was my finals week diet every year, for some reason.) For if one completed the dreaded coloring book, it counted as another GRADE, thus reducing your test values from 25% each to 20% each. I had a very excellent box of high-end coloring pencils (because remember? ART MAJOR) and while I suffered some ridicule from my friends, spending all my time coloring, I was driven to get that fucker DONE, and have some semblance of hope of passing the stupid class.

Which I did, but good gravy, I don't remember anything except the brie and the Young & the Restless. Maybe it explains how I ended up in advertising.....
posted by PlazaJen, 8:47 AM