PlazaJen: Passion Knit

People use interoffice email for the funniest things. For ages, we got request to return ALL INTEROFFICE ENVELOPES to the mail room, right away.
A former co-worker & I would ponder that one. So, I return all my interoffice envelopes to the mail room. Then, when I want to put something into interoffice mail, I open my drawer & whups! I don't have any envelopes. So I go to the mail room to get one. And thus defeats the purpose of having an interoffice envelope because now I might as well walk my happy ass & document over to the recipient of my mail. OY. This is why Scott Adams is a millionaire.
Then there's this other person who's always losing her easel. Every two months, the easel MUST BE RETURNED IMMEDIATELY. Some poor schlub is out there, trying to finish his picasso, or else he's joyfully scribbling on a giant tablet, and he keeps borrowing the WRONG EASEL. Thirty thumbtacks, flung in your direction.

Today, it seems, the double-sided tape has disappeared from the business center. Which is where all the office supplies are kept. So I guess we only keep one roll of double-sided tape on hand, and whoever took it is in BIG TROUBLE. Because double-sided taping needs exist in corporate amurrica, for what exactly, I'm not sure, but now that we need to stick things together, the only roll we have is gone. I have long maintained that double-sided tape is a two-faced beyotch that can't be trusted. It looks at you while it's walkin' away. Whistlin'. Because it's just that two-faced. Move the Homeland Security Alert System up a notch, Tommy. Let's roll.