PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Monday, August 16, 2004

Hater.

Today, I am a very tired hater. I am stuck in a bad spot & all I hear is the tape "I cannot do anything right." I think sometimes I just stop trying because it's simpler to sit & fail than to be active & fail. But then I'll turn into that lady who's skin grew into her sofa & they had to cut her out of it. And then she died. Badness.

I do not enjoy depression. (OH, scoff. I know there are some out there who practically revel in it. But no, they're not truly happy.)

I feel like work & life are big giant boulders, and while they are not bouncing down the mountain to land on my head, I feel like I'm wedged under them & my shoulders & chest are aching. I think that if I were an Army Ranger, this is what, say, hour 52 feels like on that no-sleep week of training. I am automatically piloting my life. It sucks.

posted by PlazaJen, 12:37 PM
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