PlazaJen: Passion Knit

All right, so yesterday, I decided to freak out about avian bird flu. I don't really know how to prevent getting it, apart from living in a bubble (and, by the way, how do you drive a car if you're in a bubble? Does it un-bubble? Could you FoodSaver yourself instead, with an air source?), and the recommendation in the Reuters story was all the same stuff as preventing a cold - wash your hands a lot (hi, let's bring on the OCD!), cover your mouth when you sneeze, and the new one, my favorite, maintain a ring of personal space roughly 3 feet in diameter. Yes, that won't set me apart at work. DON'T TOUCH ME. STAND BACK! NEVER MIND MY GLOVES. OR MY PLASTIC SHEATH.

Then, Kristin told me the good news, that in ferrets, Theraflu cures the bird flu. ROCK ON! I love Theraflu! The hot lemony goodness that puts me to sleep in no time. Of course, there is nothing ferretlike about me, the only thing pointy is my wit, BUT, hey, I feel reassured that the CDC and WHO are on top of this pandemic, testing the ferrets.

Moving on. At lunch yesterday (pre-avian-flu-freakout) I decided to procure the largest bag of taffy I've ever seen, where else but Costco? This taffy is like chewing flavored air, which means after about 12 pieces, you pick up on the fact you're popping taffy like a junkie, and only then because your desk is littered with little waxy wrappers. GOOD STUFF. I was thinking last night about the candy I would buy as a kid - I never went for chocolate, I went for stuff that lasted a long time. Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip, for instance. And that taffy that was flat, really big, and super stretchy - had the ribbons of color that told you what flavor it was, unsophisticated packaging? They were teeth-pullers, too, very taffy-ish. Fortunately for me, everyone else likes this new taffy, too, so I doubt it will be around very long. (4.5 pound bag! I'm telling you, the Costco values, they are astounding! I can't wait until they carry Personal Orb-O-Spheres.)

Last, but not least, tonight is our Ad Club's Ad Wars trivia competition. Just label me "dead weight" - especially for anything before 1990. If it wasn't in the New Yorker, I hardly knew about it. The brand that was the biggest mystery to me was always Clinique. I never understood what they were sellin', because I didn't know what in hell it was. But, as I've waxed rhapsodic before, I always wanted to go to the Helmsley Palace, because even though Leona was ugly as sin, she wore a tiara, and she had no time for bad hangers, poor-quality sheets, or sub-par service. So, if there are any questions about Leona Helmsley and the Helmsley Palace? I am ON IT like a ferret on Theraflu.