PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Glamorous Life

I love that song.

She wears a long fur coat of mink
Even in the summertime
Everybody knows from the coy little wink
The girl's got a lot on her mind
She's got big thoughts, big dreams

doo doo doo doooooo she wants to LEAD the glamorous life she don' need...... training....

lalalala, and so let's talk about how NOT glamorous my life is this week. What with the sewing and the schlepping and the running around frantically and then my day tomorrow, which will be spent in training. You guys think it's all free lunches and private concerts? Ha! Hi. I'm Velvet Jones. And I don' like no trainin'. I once endured 2 hours of training where the trainer dude said "Are you familiar with....?" every 2 minutes as he opened another application. Finally, with all the tact of a bull moose, I said, "YEAH. WE'RE FAMILIAR."

I don't envy trainers, especially if I'm in the room. Not like I'm Ms. Whiz-Bang, I'm just very impatient. I want to know what I need to know, and to get all my questions answered, and then I want to get the fuck out of there and back to the 800 things that are accumulating on my desk in my absence. I had to sit in on a "pre-training" session today, to set expectations & get the trainer started. It's never a good sign for anybody if I start making notes for my amusement later. But if you use the word "bloomin'" repeatedly, as in "You don't want to have to see every bloomin' job number", and then you insist on using "bloomin'" at least another 6 times in the next 10 minutes, well, then, "bloomin'" gets written down in my notebook. Along with this li'l gem of a malaprop:
"Exactly, it's like kissing two birds with one kiss."

Eeeeeeeexactly. Tomorrow morning will be the longest morning of my life. I'll be the one writing softly and carrying a big stick, so I can whack the bushes and find the kissing birds. And choke the life out of them. AND THEN EAT THEM FOR LUNCH.

doo dooo do do do dooo doo doo the girl's got a lot on her mind.....
posted by PlazaJen, 10:32 PM