PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Friday, July 29, 2005

How To Start A National Crisis

Conversation from a couple weeks ago:

Kristin: "Lindsay just wrote me and said that Thai Place was closed."

Me: (inhaling all available oxygen in my office) "WHAT??????"

Kristin: "She said they tried to go today & they were closed down."

Me: (gasping like a fish in the bottom of a boat, arms flailing) "WHA? NO! WHA? That can't be right. I did takeout last night. I have all these gift certificates! What am I supposed to do with - NO!"

Kristin: "I don't know! That's what she said!"

Me: "I'm calling them." (fingers stabbing keypad on phone: 753-THAI. Don't even laugh that I have it memorized. It's easier than my own phone number.)

Fast Busy Signal.
Then, that supposedly calm, soothing voice: We're sorry. The number you have dialed has been disconnected. Please check the number and try again.

I LUNGE at the display on my phone. I have dialed the number. 7.5.3. T. H. A. I.

Me: "OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD! The number is disconnected! That can't be right!" I stare, dumfounded at the phone. "I'm calling them again."

(beep beep beep, 753-THAI) This time, normal ringing. Then, like a musical symphony of string instruments and a piccolo, I hear, "Hello, Thai Place."

Relief floods my body. I decide not to pass along the rumor to this fellow, since he doesn't have a sweeping command of the English language, anyway. Instead I revert to the tried & true standby: "Hi! How late are you open?"

Him: "We are open right now."

Me, now unable to stop playing this charade: "No, how late are you open tonight?"

Him: "We are open right now through dinner."

Me, now completely jammed into a corner and unwilling to be rude, yet, for no apparent reason now feel compelled to establish their closing time before I will hang up: "No, how LATE, WHEN do you CLOSE tonight?"

Him, in heavy accent, mind you: "Ten Forty."

Me: "Ten Forty?????? Uh, OK. Thank you!"

I then inform Kristin not only are they open, they are open until 10:40. Which is an odd time to close, in my non-restaurateur mind, and then as I'm saying all this outloud, in some kind of post-traumatic stress chatter, like a spider monkey, I realize it was the accent and they probably close at 10:30, and I say all that out loud as well. I hear the I.T. guy on the other side of the wall chuckling at me. I do not care. My pants could have fallen off, and I wouldn't have noticed.

The point was, they were OPEN. The opposite of CLOSED. Hallelujah, thank you Buddah! White doves flew about my head in a symbolic flutter of peace restored. And my heartbeat could return to its normal resting state. Because grilled mint beef salad is the most amazing dish, ever. I could eat it every day, sometimes twice. 10:40 in the a.m, 10:40 at night. Thai Delight. Breathe in, breathe out. Cancel the Code Blue.
posted by PlazaJen, 7:40 AM