PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

And You Will Know My Name Is Plaza Jen When I Lay My Vengeance Upon Thee

I am in the mood to knock people down. Knock them OUT!

Briefly noted: I think there are just groups of people that are destined to go after each other, like lions and hyenas: MORTAL ENEMIES. Herbert Kornfeld, I'm comin' fo' yo' ass and I don't like to lose. Your letter opener of death better be mighty sharp.

Now, the person who came closest to getting knocked out today was a clerk at Bath & Body Works. OK, you know what? If I need help, I WILL FUCKING ASK FOR HELP. I appreciate the effort to provide service. However, giving me a five-minute speech when I walk through the door, and then asking me EVERY FIVE MINUTES if "I'm OK" or if I need anything? I am about to grab a heavy jar of sugar scrub and pummel your ass to the floor. And really. It's 900 degrees and humid outside. Let's get some AIR circulating.

And if you're standing in line? And you're next in line? Don't be thinking you can just wander over OUT of line, look at candles, pick up more stuff and then? THEN? come right back and step back in front of me. Good god almighty, if she'd had more stuff, I would have had to kill her. But I was already seething inside and I knew if I even said one thing, it would be like Mt.St.Jennifer and the lava flow would be firey, in vast quantities, and decimating. And while I contemplated just going home from the mall, I didn't. Heads up, KC, I'm still out there, driving around.

Now I am preparing to teach some people to knit tonight, and reminding myself that it's ever-so-hard to get blood out of fiber. So I'll have to skip stabbing them with the straight needles & get my hands on some circulars for strangling.

Be glad you're not my student tonight. I'll be good, of course, but I'd rather operate like Vic Mackey on The Shield (yay that's on tonight!) and pound some serious heads like a badass.
posted by PlazaJen, 4:12 PM