PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Monday, August 07, 2006

My Left Boob

OK. I'm starring in my own non-Oscar independent movie today. I'm wearing this shirt:

And it's a "mock wrap top". So that would make you think it's not a real wrap shirt, right? Well, it's not, in the sense that you have to wrap & tie , blah blah blah, BUT the whole panel that goes into the side & stretches across, the "underneath" panel? That baby ties to the far right side: there and ONLY there. So I have a triangular panel of fabric that quite adequately covers my left bazoomba, BUT, should a wardrobe malfunction take place, like a slippage or bunching, then? Left boob al fresco.

Whenever I'm presented with the opportunity to be paranoid, I grab it. Sieze it, really. Shove it in my mouth and swallow it whole. I love to incite the Paranoia Gnome within. So all day, I've spent spare moments stealing moments to check my left boob panel, and assure myself that I'm not exposing myself to the office. I'd like to think I'm subtle, but let's face it, I'm not exactly a master of the art, and the boobs? They're not exactly "shrinking violets". More like uh.... Kansas Sunflowers.

Yeah, I know. Safety pins, quick whipstitching with a needle & thread, yadda yadda. But then where would the EXCITEMENT be? Hm? I have many sources in my wardrobe: I haven't fallen in my Doc Marten sandals yet today, so that disaster's still out there, lurking. And you know if I fall down, Left Boob is totally flying out of the panel and putting on a matinee show.
posted by PlazaJen, 4:37 PM