PlazaJen: Passion Knit

Monday, May 29, 2006

Stone Cold Killah

~ VChip Note: If you're super-tender-hearted towards rabbits, don't read this entry.~

I don't think of myself as a super-duper girly-girl. Yes, I wear skirts a lot, yes, I love makeup & jewelry, but I also installed a new light fixture in our bedroom, and I'm not afraid of power tools. I am, however, afraid of snakes, bugs, and well, now, anything my dog brings me in her mouth that I didn't throw for her to fetch.

Polly has become a rabbit-killing machine, which ordinarily would disturb me more than it does, but the rabbits have been wreaking HAVOC on JWo's garden, and they simply must be stopped. Polly apparently has heard the call and stepped up into the role of Elmer Fudd, hell-bent on catching & eliminating the scourge of the backyard. She's gotten five so far. FIVE. Two nights ago she brought one up in the dark, and fortunately, James came out one minute later, so I didn't have to do too much jumping around in fear and indecision. Yesterday? She brought a HUGE rabbit, dead, and because she's a retriever, she comes straight up to you and wants you to take it from her with your hands. EEEEEEEEEEEK! I was dancing around and she kept following me, coming in closer and trying to hand off her prize. EEEEEEEEEEEK! I was alternating between, "Polly, SIT! Polly, Good Girl! Polly, NO!" and hopping around from foot to foot trying to keep at least 12" of space between her mouth and my body. Finally, I got a plastic grocery bag out & brought it up under her muzzle, the bag handles close to her ears & said, "Leave it!" and she let go, leaving said rabbit in the bag. James - bless him! - had just gotten up from his nap, so he made sure it wasn't going to spring to life (my biggest fear -hi! I played dead in your dog's mouth and now? I'm clawing to life and running up your FACE.)

Now, she has another word in her vocabulary that makes her perk up & raise her ears: Bunny? The others are Paper?, Squirrel?, and at dinnertime, What? Just saying What? makes her leap four feet into the air. James thought it was just the tone & inflection - but he tried Chocolate? (I perked up at that) and Barbeque? and she stayed in an uninterested, supine pose. Then he said, Bunny? and her head came flying up off the pillow, with an expression that said, "Ready to go, Mister. You said the magic word....."
posted by PlazaJen, 10:31 AM