Monday, January 10, 2005
Catatonia, Population: Me!
Good GOD Mondays are a drag - but you knew that, right? That's why you're blogsurfing, instead of working! I have so much work to do, it stupefies the mind. So I am giving myself a "treat" and taking a break. Because Cybill Sheperd told me a long time ago that I'M WORTH IT.
I realize, yes, we have to have flat days, in order to have a baseline for the High days and Low days to register. But geeeyod, this is a flat day, flatter than Kansas as you drive across it, searching for anything, something, to rise and break the horizontal line of neverending flatness. I allowed myself to slip into a Walter Mitty moment, and fantasize about other careers ..... police officer..... crackwhore.... undercover crackwhore would be better I think.... owning a yarn shop.... owning a coffee shop.....working at Blockbuster.... being a garbagewoman.... being fantastically wealthy & not having to get out of bed until I say so...... So, pretty much the gamut of opportunities, some with some SERIOUS drawbacks (like, I'd NEVER pass the physical exam to be a cop, and I don't know how to handle a gun so I'd probably shoot my toes off.)
Oh, you thought I'd talk about the drawbacks of being a crackwhore? Actually, I always wanted to work "Crackwhore" into a client presentation. I never did. Except jokingly, in a meeting, just once, and it was with a client I knew really, REALLY well, so it really doesn't count. You've got to be standing there presenting a whole campaign and say something along the lines of, "So, it comes down to this: are you marketing to women, or are you marketing to crackwhores? You have to choose." And do it with a straight face.
Anyway, the stuff I have to do is putting me into a catatonic trance. Good thing I'm wearing a novelty yarn scarf, to catch the drool as I sit, slackjawed, at the computer, staring at numbers. It's the lime-green variegated RED HEART "Foxy" yarn scarf, I made it extra long for looping (and drool-catching) options. I also just ran out of my special coffee concoction - creamer, brown sugar & cinnamon - what Betty Crocker called "Mexican coffee" & I'd make it as a kid (because it's never too early to start drinking coffee, you know.) Wah. Just when you thought the earth was flat, somebody gets out a level & shows you it's even flatter just ahead.
I realize, yes, we have to have flat days, in order to have a baseline for the High days and Low days to register. But geeeyod, this is a flat day, flatter than Kansas as you drive across it, searching for anything, something, to rise and break the horizontal line of neverending flatness. I allowed myself to slip into a Walter Mitty moment, and fantasize about other careers ..... police officer..... crackwhore.... undercover crackwhore would be better I think.... owning a yarn shop.... owning a coffee shop.....working at Blockbuster.... being a garbagewoman.... being fantastically wealthy & not having to get out of bed until I say so...... So, pretty much the gamut of opportunities, some with some SERIOUS drawbacks (like, I'd NEVER pass the physical exam to be a cop, and I don't know how to handle a gun so I'd probably shoot my toes off.)
Oh, you thought I'd talk about the drawbacks of being a crackwhore? Actually, I always wanted to work "Crackwhore" into a client presentation. I never did. Except jokingly, in a meeting, just once, and it was with a client I knew really, REALLY well, so it really doesn't count. You've got to be standing there presenting a whole campaign and say something along the lines of, "So, it comes down to this: are you marketing to women, or are you marketing to crackwhores? You have to choose." And do it with a straight face.
Anyway, the stuff I have to do is putting me into a catatonic trance. Good thing I'm wearing a novelty yarn scarf, to catch the drool as I sit, slackjawed, at the computer, staring at numbers. It's the lime-green variegated RED HEART "Foxy" yarn scarf, I made it extra long for looping (and drool-catching) options. I also just ran out of my special coffee concoction - creamer, brown sugar & cinnamon - what Betty Crocker called "Mexican coffee" & I'd make it as a kid (because it's never too early to start drinking coffee, you know.) Wah. Just when you thought the earth was flat, somebody gets out a level & shows you it's even flatter just ahead.
posted by PlazaJen, 1:49 PM
|